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Better Late – 14

When the large, oval tub was filled with warm, soothing water, Shaynah stepped into it. She turned and looked at her reflection in the mirrored wall across the tiled Jacuzzi room. She had begun to look at herself, even inspect herself, since Itzhak had died. She realised that she was taking inventory… looking at herself as a secular man might look at her, wondering if he would like what he saw.

Her breasts were large, and her nipples also larger than most. After bearing and nourishing 3 children, it was to be expected that the pendulous breasts would not be as erect as they once were. But there was something inviting about the mature size and texture of them Shaynah reasoned with no logic behind the opinion. Rather it was a wish or a hope. She went through similar analyses of her face – beautiful, her legs – slender, her behind – a bit too soft, but still round, her waist – thicker than it used to be, but still not bad, and her hips – just a touch on the heavy side, but not shamefully so.

Fairly satisfied, but with a commitment to herself that she would improve her physical condition, Shaynah immersed herself in the seething water. She lay back and thought about her plans. She would change her diet, and she would join a health club. She sometimes saw the women in an upstairs health club that overlooked the busy street where Shaynah shopped for kosher goods. They worked out, lifted weights, or ran on treadmills. Some were not younger than Shaynah, and a few looked older. The older women were as active as the younger women she saw through the huge glass wall of the club, sweating happily in their brief outfits, some with plump white towels around their necks to mop their beaded brows.

Eyes closed, Shaynah Levy sent her mind into the future. She conjured images of life alone on an island. The more she thought about it, the more she saw all the reasons why it would be a disaster. She knew nothing of the skills that would be required for… for anything. She’d never been in a boat, she’d never seen a generator work, she’d never experienced any of the things that would be essential to life alone on a northern island.

Shaynah dozed in the bubbling tub. Fantasies trickled through her confused mind, of life on the island with a companion. She led her mind through a series of possibilities for company and support in her new life. She knew her daughter’s family would not join her, and both sons also had young families. She thought about paid servants, a maid and perhaps a handyman who could drive boats. In her drowsy fantasy, these alternative images faded away, leaving before her mind’s eye the only company she really wished to have. David Goodman’s hard body and tanned skin filled her imagination. Deep in her fantasy, Shaynah twisted and curled her body in the bubbling jets of warm water until one of the pulsing flows reached between her thighs and stimulated her clitoris.

In her vision, David was somehow bringing the excitement into her body. Her naïve mind was unable to place their figures in positions and actions that would bring these feelings to her. Suddenly, Shaynah was wracked with convulsions. She woke from her reverie with a feeling of confused panic. Within seconds, she realised what had happened. Her imaginings combined with the flow of warm water over her vagina to bring her to orgasm.

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