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Norman Corman’s Paradise

December 31, 2011 Leave a comment

Among the many varied beliefs that humans have about an afterlife, there is a range of fates from searing Hellfire to supreme happiness. Norman Corman does not subscribe to any one of them, but rather has conjured his own after-world, which he is eagerly anticipating.

Norman’s Paradise is an after-world where both the good people and the bad people are delivered posthumously. It is a lovely park-like environment where the good among the populace are happy, comfortable, and satisfied. The bad are delivered to the same lovely environment, but they are not happy there. The reasons for their distress is varied, depending upon what, in their living years, they did to earn the badness rank.

Corman’s Paradise” is beautifully rendered in a white wrought-iron arch over the wide open white gate. A golden plaque is suspended below the white iron arch. It is inscribed: “HEREIN LIES THE RIGHTOUS REVENGE”. Norman’s fantasy puts it right out there.

The good people, no matter what their origins, view the inscription with just the slightest interest, having little fear that they have done things that would bring revenge upon them. The bad people, conversely, wonder if they need to fear vengeance for the evil deeds performed during their lives. Their entry into Norman Corman’s Paradise is cause for uneasiness, and a burden of feelings of foreboding. The very thought of it elevated Norman’s attitude, and made him feel almost giddy with satisfaction. It should be obvious by now that Norman Corman loves revenge.

In Norman’s fantasy paradise, he strolls along a comfortable path of hard-packed dirt, worn smooth and stable by the passage of billions of feet over the aeons of time. From early primates walking with their hand-like feet while dragging their knuckles on the ground to the most recently deceased from all nationalities, races, and walks of life. Along the way, he encounters many people from his earthly life. Some he knew to be good, and some he knew to be bad. His revenge would be sweet and fulfilling.

Norman is painfully aware that he has done things that are revenge-worthy, and even in his fantasy paradise, he is prepared to suffer the vengeful will of others. His attitude is, “fair is fair after all”.

The path that Norman followed curved around a stand of gorgeous oak trees. As he rounded the curve during his initial stroll, he encountered Theodore Ashton, a man he had met only briefly during his life. Theodore Ashton was a billionaire, having inherited a vast financial empire from his grandfather. He stood on an asphalt platform that was recessed into the lush grass that grew everywhere on both sides of the well-worn path. On the platform with him was his white Lamborghini. As Norman approached the spot, Ashton stepped away from the low, sleek car to the edge of the asphalt.

“Oh, uh… excuse me,” Theodore said. “Could you just hand me that can of gas over there?” Norman looked where the anxious man pointed, and saw a five-gallon can on the opposite edge of the path.

“Why don’t you get it yourself, Mister Ashton?” Norman asked.

“Do I know you?” Theodore Ashton asked.

“Not really,” Norman smiled. “Long ago, when we were both young, we had a brief encounter. You used your wealth, power, and influence to destroy a business that I had been laboriously building for thirty years.”

“Well, I’m sorry about that. I’m sure it wasn’t personal, just business,” Theodore said. “Now please fetch me that fuel tank over there.”

“I’m sure it was just business to you,” Norman agreed. “It was personal for my family and I.”

“Well, it’s all water under the bridge now, isn’t it?” Ashton said. “We’re not even on earth any more, so please get that gas can for me.”

“That’s right, we’re not on earth, we’re in Norman Corman’s Paradise”.

“Who’s Norman Corman?” Theodore Ashton said. “Can’t you just take a moment to fetch me that fuel?”

“Why don’t you get it yourself?” Norman said. “It’s only a few steps away.”

“I can’t leave this platform unless I drive off it in my Lamborghini,” Ashton pleaded. “Please just bring it over here for me.”

“No,” Norman Corman said with a broad smile.

“Why not?” Theodore cried.

“Because I’m Norman Corman, and I don’t want to,” Norman said as he turned to walk away.

After all… this IS Norman Corman’s Paradise, and he can take revenge if he wants to. It’s Norman’s personal fantasy, and he looks forward to more moments of vengeance.

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Too Many Americans Have Guns

December 18, 2011 Leave a comment

It is enormously regrettable that guns proliferate throughout the United States of America.  Their “framers” stated that there is a right to bear arms… but that was in the 18th century!  It is unfathomable that millions upon millions of American Citizens covet their firearms so vehemently.  It is confusing that they continue to insist that it is their right, according to the constitution.  Well, times have changed, and it’s time the constitution was changed to conform to contemporary society.

The right to bear arms was meant to permit civilian protective groups to own firearms against aggressive aboriginals, Grizzly bears, badgers, rattlesnakes, and other varied dangers in the USA of the eighteenth century.  The eighteenth century was fraught with these dangers, and the populace was well-advised to arm themselves in defense.

Today, the populace is armed to the teeth, against… each other.  The old film, ‘The Magnificent Seven’, was adapted from a classic Ninja tale of old. It featured a small group of gunslingers hired to protect a poor village full of simple, peaceful farmers.  Now, the entire USA has become ‘The Miserable Millions’ of people prepared to kill each other… which they do, all too often. Vigilantism running wild.

The Anglo-American Convention of 1818 and the Oregon Treaty of 1846 designated the 49th parallel as most of the dividing line between The United States of America and the Dominion of Canada.  From up here, north of the 49th parallel in this peaceful nation, populated by courteous, rarely armed citizens, I ask you – PLEASE keep your beloved firearms on your side of the line.  They are not welcome here… they are regarded as the pariah that they are in reality.

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